Post by The Man on Jun 29, 2007 23:00:15 GMT -5
Posted by Shade on Mar 7, 2007, 7:54am
Shade had taken her book outside with her and had settled on one of the benches, her legs crossed in a rather uncomfortable looking manner, occupied in reading. Looking around, she saw that there was not much going on on the grounds which seemed odd as these last days the place had been rather busy to say the least.
Posted by The Man on Mar 7, 2007, 2:31pm
::A quiet voice spoke from behind her.:: "A good read?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 7, 2007, 2:32pm
She turned her head to see the professor approach. Smiling she held up the book he had given to her some time ago. "Not managed to read too much yet, but seems nice so far." she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 7, 2007, 2:39pm
"It gets even better as the story progresses." ::The Professor said as he took in the sight of the book.:: "Feeling better?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 7, 2007, 2:42pm
"Most good books do." she said. "I wanted to make my mum read Lord of the Rings once and she stopped around Bilbo´s party telling me it was lame." She smiled.
"Yeah." she then said. It would probably stay like this until Erik would cross her path, but right now she was even speaking the truth. "Yeah, I am. Thank you."
Posted by The Man on Mar 7, 2007, 2:46pm
::He smiled softly at her. The clearing of the rain was doing wonders for everyone.:: "I'm very glad to hear that."
Posted by Shade on Mar 7, 2007, 2:53pm
"So am I" she said, placed the book aside and stretched "I slept better this night which is a clear sign with me that I´m fine." She looked at him. "What about you?"
Posted by The Man on Mar 8, 2007, 3:02am
::He had managed to sleep, which was an improvement. He knew that he still appeared haggard. He was. But the clear sky today and the conversation with Storm had put him at ease.:: "I'm all right, too."
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 10:26am
"Good." she nodded.
She looked out at the lake. "It´s nice to see days are getting less cold." she said. "Everything suddenly seems so peaceful." She didn´t utter it, but inside she was feeling a little bit as if this was the quiet before a storm.
Posted by The Man on Mar 10, 2007, 10:35am
::Xavier followed her gaze to the lake, nodding. There was no real peace. Everyone was putting on appearances; he knew it. But it was better than outright hostility.:: "Spring is coming. I wish the younger children were back. They always loved the spring Easter egg hunt."
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 10:37am
A smile krept across her face. "Younger children?" she asked. "How young have the youngest been who´ve been here?"
Posted by The Man on Mar 10, 2007, 10:42am
"Nine," ::The Professor answered without having to think. He remembered the conversation to allow the child there quite well. Despite the fact that his first students had been relatively young when they had come, as teachers, they had pushed for older cut-offs.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 10:44am
"Nine." Shade repeated. "That´s young. I always thought mutations showed later."
Posted by The Man on Mar 10, 2007, 10:49am
"They tend to manifest during puberty or in a moment of intense stress," ::The Professor replied. The poor child had been in a car crash, lost his grandparents. Terrible things could happen at all ages. And puberty was affecting children younger and younger.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 10:52am
"I see. Heard something along those lines, too. I was 13." she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 10, 2007, 10:55am
"I hope it wasn't traumatic," ::The Professor replied. It was always difficult in some way when the powers manifested, but there were environments that were easier than others. He'd had a calm manifestation and he wished it could happen to everyone.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 10:57am
"No." she chuckled slightly. "No, it wasn´t." She smiled a little at the memory. "I had messed up things a little back at my school, can´t remember what it was, nothing bad anyways and my mum wanted to go see the teacher with me. I think it had something to do with my grade, so nothing really serious. I didn´t really like said teacher though and was rather terrified, so when Mum wanted to leave I simply was nowhere to be found."
Posted by The Man on Mar 10, 2007, 11:00am
"And when you realized what had happened?" ::The Professor asked, curious. He thought that the environment of first manifestation played a tremendous role in mutant identity.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 11:05am
"Well, that was the moment when I actually was rather scared." she remembered. "I only found out later that my powers are to some extent related to my emotions. Normally they are easily controlled, but when I´m scared or under stress it´s a little harder. I didn´t know how they worked and was terrified because I couldn´t see my body. Only when I calmed down again my powers slipped."
Posted by The Man on Mar 12, 2007, 11:45am
::The Professor nodded in understanding, absorbing the story.:: "And then what happened, if I may ask?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 13, 2007, 5:09am
"I didn´t use my powers again and went straight for the library to get information about mutations. But after some days I became too curious not to try again and after a while I could halfway control it."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 12:43pm
::Xavier understood that fear. It reminded him of the first time he had realized he could control minds. Unfortunately, the drive to use your powers, when they're not destructive, and even when they are, is too great to ignore. It was like expecting yourself to stop breathing. He nodded again.:: "And here you are, now."
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 1:15pm
She nodded and looked across the ground, slightly lost in thought, smiling.
"Yeah. Here I am."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 3:50pm
"Quite the journey," ::Xavier replied, knowing that the journey was far from over.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 3:55pm
She shrugged. "I guess a number of people here have had a longer way. For me it was some days by bus and that was generally it."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:01pm
"Not what I meant," ::The Professor replied. He had just finished reading Siddhartha for the umpteenth time and his mind was focused on spiritual growth and acceptance of oneself.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:05pm
She turned her head to look at him for a moment. "I might have guessed" she simply said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:32pm
"What do you plan to do after you return from the land of wizards and knights?" ::Xavier asked, gesturing towards the book.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:33pm
"Does that mean I can´t stay there?" she asked jokingly.
Then she shrugged. "I don´t really have any plans for today to be honest."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:40pm
"Not forever, no matter how tempting it might be," ::The Professor replied. He remembered the days of youth, being able to live through fantasy.:: "I recommend taking advantage of the good weather while it lasts."
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:42pm
She nodded "Already thought of something like that" she said. "even if it´s just being lazy and reading under some tree. I never liked winter much."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:44pm
"Few people do. But spring is on the rise," ::Xavier said, firmly believing the statement.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:46pm
She let her gaze drift across the grounds thinking about how she and her friends back home would take the weekends off to spend them somewhere away from the buzz of the cities. For a moment the thought saddened her.
"Yeah." she then said. "I don´t need the cold."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:51pm
"Don't let Bobby here that." ::The Professor replied with humor. Then he sensed her sudden sadness.:: "I didn't mean to dredge up memories."
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:52pm
She smiled at that
"Never mind, you didn´t...well not too much anyways. I just had to think of my friends from college."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:55pm
"Do you keep in touch with them?" ::The Professor asked, tilting his head to the side.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:58pm
She should have expected a question like this. Still she hesitated, deciding the truth would probably be the right answer.
"Not as much as I probably should" she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 5:00pm
"Perhaps you should call them today." ::THe Professor replied gently. Perhaps it was the weather, or the events of the last few weeks, but he wanted everybody to try and build bridges, even more than usual.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 5:02pm
She nodded, looking over to the lake. "You´re right. I really should" she said. Noone of her friends knew where she was. It had been for their protection and for her own.
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 5:04pm
"The phone line is at your disposal."
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 5:06pm
She looked at him, nodding with a not totally convincing smile.
"Thank you. I guess I will ring them up these days."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 5:09pm
::She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. He was all too familiar with that affliction as of late. He grew serious. He had asked her already, but apparently, he needed to keep it up..:: "What's wrong?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 5:14pm
He had asked her this question before and her heart grew heavy at it. Many things had become easier since she had arrived at the school months ago, while she realized that some of these just meant problems and pains she had run away from. In addition, she had kept most of her reasons to come here, to run from her old life, to herself, opening herself only to few. She felt bad for rejecting his well meant questions all over and grew serious.
"I guess it´s just that at times the things I ran from are catching up with me again." she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 5:20pm
::It was a serious answer and for that Xavier was grateful. But he still wished it was something less heavy on her shoulders. His past had been catching up with him as well and he didn't wish it on anyone. He gave her an encouraging look.:: "Do you want to talk it out?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 5:24pm
She knew he was serious with his offer. At the same time she could see that there were many things burdening him as well and she did not want to add to this. Not many knew and on the other hand, having been that kind with her all the while, he somehow deserved to know.
She sighed.
Then she decided on a moderate version.
"I came here shortly after my little brother died." she said, playing with the long ends of her pullover. "It´s hard to keep that off my mind at times."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 1:40am
::The Professor became silent. He could imagine how difficult it was to carry the weight of a loved one on one's shoulders. And he felt remiss in not having asked about this sooner.:: "I'm so sorry."
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 4:57am
She nodded, her eyes fixed on the ground. In this moment she found that she already had cried all her tears. All she could now feel about his death was bitterness and hatred against those responsible for it.
"Thank you." she said. "You couldn´t have known."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 5:10pm
::That simply wasn't true. The fact was that he could have known, if he had read her. Or if he taken the time to speak with her at length about her past. He felt a pang of guilt over that, since he hadn't paid her enough attention.:: "If you ever need to talk, you know my door is always open."
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 5:14pm
She nodded again and turned her head to look at him.
"I know" she said. "And I´m greatful for that."
At her words her heart felt heavy. She had never really opened up to him, nor had she told him much about her past. there wasn´t much to tell as, apart from Jimmy´s death, her life had been unproblematic, yet she felt guilty for not even giving him the chance to know.
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 5:27pm
"And if I can do anything, don't hesitate to let me know," ::The Professor continued. He wanted to help her.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 5:33pm
In this moment she remembered something, Erik had said to her on the very first morning after she had come to the mansion. Something had triggered her into telling about what had happened...One mention of retribution and Charles'll turn his office inside out with a blink
She doubted that the professor would react that harshly, but still, these kinds of thoughts did not seem anywhere near him. Truth be told, she didn´t even know what she wanted. Whether she would pay those murderers back if she had the chance... she had thought she did and she was sure meeting them again would make her blind with anger... she pushed the thought aside.
"There´s nothing you can do really." she said smiling. "I think at some point I´ll simply have to move on."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 5:41pm
::The Professor felt a momentary shift in her thoughts. Something was troubling the young woman. And although he assumed it had to do with her brother, it went beyond that. But she hadn't said anything on the subject, and he wouldn't pry. Now wasn't the time. He nodded solemnly.:: "Moving on is always wise, although one must never simpyly forget."
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 5:42pm
"Only too true." she said while her hand played along the edges of a book. "I guess I never will. And I wouldn´t want to."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 5:52pm
"No," ::The Professor repeated. It had taken him a long time to learn that he couldn't take people's pain away with their memories. Memories made them who they are, as painful a realization as it could be.:: "You shouldn't want to."
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 5:57pm
She still felt a little guilt nag on her for the things she didn´t tell him, but the emotional relief that spread inside her was bigger. She had never been a person to trouble others with her sorrows too much, although she had always felt strong empathy for others. She took a deep and calming breath.
"Thank you." she said from an impulse.
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 5:59pm
"For what?" ::The Professor asked, surprised. Considering all of the trouble he had caused recently, he didn't think he was in a position to be thanked by anyone.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 6:02pm
She looked out on the grounds.
"I don´t really know." she said with a little shrug. "For everything I guess. You always have an open ear for everybody´s trouble."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 6:11pm
"That's why I'm here," ::The Professor replied honestly. He was somewhat relieved that she hadn't thought he had failed her. Particularly since he had doubted himself so often this past week.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 6:13pm
She nodded. "Yeah, but that´s not self-evident, you know? People who think like this are actually very rare."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 6:30pm
"I think they're merely buried by society," ::The Professor replied after a moment's consideration.:: "People are inherently good and helpful."
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 6:41pm
She nodded but could not totally share his belief. It was hard to apply this way of thinking to some.
"Maybe" she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 6:51pm
"There are exceptions, of course. This school wouldn't exist if there weren't. But generally, the glass is half-full." ::Xavier said. He had to keep his optimism. Otherwise, he didn't know what he stood for.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 6:52pm
She really admired him for this point of view and generally shared it. she had met more humans that were to be labelled good than those that deserved to be called evil.
"it´s just a shame that those few exceptions usually leave graver marks than the hords of good ones."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 6:55pm
"A few rotten apples spoil the bunch, you mean," ::The Professor replied with a nod. Yes, it was a shame that the worst of any group received the most attention. It was the cornerstone of xenophobia and the result of media sensationalism.:: "Unfortunately, the same can be said of us."
Posted by Shade on Mar 17, 2007, 7:24am
Her knowledge on that matter was too small to make a qualified remark on it. Hatred against mutant never had been a real issue back home, although there had been those who had spoken against them at school... and one or two of them who had been about to turn into troublemakers. He was so much older and more experienced than her that most probably he had seen more on that matter than was good for anyone.
Her thoughts briefly drifted over to Erik, to what she had caught about his past. Brief glimpses on the Liberty Island incident, even briefer ones on Alcatraz. He was so different from Xavier, yet she could in a way understand both their views.
She nodded. "It has always been like that, throughout history." she then said. "Our society thinks its so much different from those in the past, but in general it´s just the same old game all over again. It´s the same fear."
Posted by The Man on Mar 19, 2007, 12:00am
"Generally," ::The Professor replied with a nod. It was fear, the us vs. them dynamic, which kept hatred in the minds and hearts of the masses.:: "And that's why we must try not to respond in a threatening way. It only justifies that fear."
Posted by Shade on Mar 19, 2007, 10:30am
He sounded as if he had said these kind of things many times during his life and she sympathized with the hope that shone through, although his words left an etchy corner in her mind. She nodded, but then turned towards them.
"Still, the world would be simpler if it were that easy... if it was black and white. What about the other minorities? The Native Americans? The European Jews? They didn´t behave in a threatening way and still ..."
Posted by The Man on Mar 19, 2007, 4:10pm
"No, they didn't," ::The Professor admitted. The world was unfair so often. And he knew it was difficult for people who had experienced such hardship to have hope. But they must understand that change was slow at times.:: "But that doesn't mean that they should retaliate in kind. Then there will never be an end to the conflicts."
Posted by Shade on Mar 19, 2007, 4:13pm
"No." Shade said, her eyes upon the grounds. "Still it´s sometimes hard to live in a world like this."
Posted by The Man on Mar 19, 2007, 4:14pm
"That it is," ::The Professor replied with a nod. It could be incredibly difficult.:: "But it's up to us to make it easier for the next generation."
Posted by Shade on Mar 19, 2007, 4:17pm
She nodded, her thoughts briefly dwelling on the thought. It was always about the future, about making things better in the one or other way whether it came to stopping the hole in the ozon layer or creating a society of tolerance. Still, it was difficult for her to share that optimism, yet she didn´t want to tell him why. The image of the unpretty death of Jimmy was something she didn´t want to force on anyone.
"Probably" she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 19, 2007, 9:11pm
"And now you know the logic behind the school," ::The Professor said gently. He had dedicated his entire life to this logic.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 20, 2007, 3:22am
She smiled.
"This is admireable" she said. "To find so much hope and dedication."
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 12:37pm
::Xavier smiled at her. It warmed his heart to know that someone in the younger generation could appreciate the value of hope. The future would be in good hands.:: "It's admirable that you open yourself to others. The students are all very fond of you."
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 12:39pm
Shade looked at him, actually feeling touched.
"It´s amazing to see." she said. Images started floating around her mind. Images of the students and how nicely they treated her, about the one or other remark complimenting her classes or advice.
"They give me so much."
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 12:43pm
"They do," ::Xavier said with a nod. There was a rejuvinating force in teaching.:: "You're a natural teacher."
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 12:45pm
"That´s among the nicest things I´ve heard for quite a while" she said blushing slightly.
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 12:48pm
::Xavier smiled at her again.:: "I speak only the truth."
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 12:49pm
His words left a slightly bitter taste, but still she smiled. "Thank you." she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 12:54pm
"You're welcome," ::Xavier replied. Her expression seemed off; he took mental note of it. Glancing down at the book in her lap, he decided to simply ignore it.:: "I do apologize if I've taken away reading time."
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 12:56pm
"Oh, never mind, you didn´t" she said. He still seemed a little concerned as she noticed and wanted him not to be troubled about her. "There are enough moments when one is bored. It´s always nice to have someone to talk."
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 1:05pm
"It is," ::Xavier agreed. It was nice to be able to carry on a conversation with somebody who shared your interests, if not your outlook.:: "If I may ask, what do you have lined up for your next lesson?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 1:09pm
"You mean for history, right?" she made sure.
"I actually thought about going a little further into the history of the development of constitutions and personal rights, primarily centering on the German basic law as this would form a connection with where we last stopped in a way, but reaching back for ideas on personal rights such as those that came up with the French revolution."
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 4:37pm
::Xavier nodded to answer her question; then he listened to her lesson plan. It sounded solid and he only hoped that the students would respond well to it.:: "Do you have a project planned to accompany it?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 4:40pm
"I´m not too sure yet." she said. "i was considering about letting them work on the validity of these constitutions in historic and modern retrospective, but I´m not sure if this might not end in another discussion about mutant rights and the like, so I´m still working on that."
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 5:22pm
"The greatest challenge you will face as a teacher at the Institute is finding a way for discussion to not deteriorate into a discussion about mutant rights," ::Xavier replied. It was topical, although not always appropriate. Most of the students were runaways; it was the first thing on their minds.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 5:24pm
She nodded. "i guess so" she said. "i might limit the discussion down to similarities and differences, to general achievements and developments by drawing parallels across nations, maybe" she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 23, 2007, 9:51am
"I think that's wise," ::The Professor agreed with a nod.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 23, 2007, 12:35pm
She nodded again. "Yeah. The whole acceptance thing is an important issue, but it certainly won´t help if it comes up every lesson." She looked out over the grounds. "I think I´ll go, check out the library for some useful stuff." she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 23, 2007, 12:44pm
"And they will get more than they need of the issue in political science," ::The Professor said in agreement. He was quite familiar with Magnus' teaching style.:: "If you need anything at all, I will most likely be in my office."
Posted by Shade on Mar 23, 2007, 12:49pm
She crooked a grin. "Probably. I signed up for that course as I thought there might be parallels to history and it might prove interesting... well, we´ll see." She took the book and got up. "Good to know" she said. She might need some equipment, not for history but for creative writing, but she hadn´t thought that through completely yet. "See you, professor."
Posted by The Man on Mar 23, 2007, 12:50pm
"Take care, Shade," ::Xavier replied with a soft smile.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 23, 2007, 12:52pm
"Same goes for you." she said smiling as well, but a serious tone in her words when she walked away. He seemed weary these days and this didn´t help the way she felt much.
Shade had taken her book outside with her and had settled on one of the benches, her legs crossed in a rather uncomfortable looking manner, occupied in reading. Looking around, she saw that there was not much going on on the grounds which seemed odd as these last days the place had been rather busy to say the least.
Posted by The Man on Mar 7, 2007, 2:31pm
::A quiet voice spoke from behind her.:: "A good read?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 7, 2007, 2:32pm
She turned her head to see the professor approach. Smiling she held up the book he had given to her some time ago. "Not managed to read too much yet, but seems nice so far." she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 7, 2007, 2:39pm
"It gets even better as the story progresses." ::The Professor said as he took in the sight of the book.:: "Feeling better?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 7, 2007, 2:42pm
"Most good books do." she said. "I wanted to make my mum read Lord of the Rings once and she stopped around Bilbo´s party telling me it was lame." She smiled.
"Yeah." she then said. It would probably stay like this until Erik would cross her path, but right now she was even speaking the truth. "Yeah, I am. Thank you."
Posted by The Man on Mar 7, 2007, 2:46pm
::He smiled softly at her. The clearing of the rain was doing wonders for everyone.:: "I'm very glad to hear that."
Posted by Shade on Mar 7, 2007, 2:53pm
"So am I" she said, placed the book aside and stretched "I slept better this night which is a clear sign with me that I´m fine." She looked at him. "What about you?"
Posted by The Man on Mar 8, 2007, 3:02am
::He had managed to sleep, which was an improvement. He knew that he still appeared haggard. He was. But the clear sky today and the conversation with Storm had put him at ease.:: "I'm all right, too."
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 10:26am
"Good." she nodded.
She looked out at the lake. "It´s nice to see days are getting less cold." she said. "Everything suddenly seems so peaceful." She didn´t utter it, but inside she was feeling a little bit as if this was the quiet before a storm.
Posted by The Man on Mar 10, 2007, 10:35am
::Xavier followed her gaze to the lake, nodding. There was no real peace. Everyone was putting on appearances; he knew it. But it was better than outright hostility.:: "Spring is coming. I wish the younger children were back. They always loved the spring Easter egg hunt."
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 10:37am
A smile krept across her face. "Younger children?" she asked. "How young have the youngest been who´ve been here?"
Posted by The Man on Mar 10, 2007, 10:42am
"Nine," ::The Professor answered without having to think. He remembered the conversation to allow the child there quite well. Despite the fact that his first students had been relatively young when they had come, as teachers, they had pushed for older cut-offs.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 10:44am
"Nine." Shade repeated. "That´s young. I always thought mutations showed later."
Posted by The Man on Mar 10, 2007, 10:49am
"They tend to manifest during puberty or in a moment of intense stress," ::The Professor replied. The poor child had been in a car crash, lost his grandparents. Terrible things could happen at all ages. And puberty was affecting children younger and younger.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 10:52am
"I see. Heard something along those lines, too. I was 13." she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 10, 2007, 10:55am
"I hope it wasn't traumatic," ::The Professor replied. It was always difficult in some way when the powers manifested, but there were environments that were easier than others. He'd had a calm manifestation and he wished it could happen to everyone.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 10:57am
"No." she chuckled slightly. "No, it wasn´t." She smiled a little at the memory. "I had messed up things a little back at my school, can´t remember what it was, nothing bad anyways and my mum wanted to go see the teacher with me. I think it had something to do with my grade, so nothing really serious. I didn´t really like said teacher though and was rather terrified, so when Mum wanted to leave I simply was nowhere to be found."
Posted by The Man on Mar 10, 2007, 11:00am
"And when you realized what had happened?" ::The Professor asked, curious. He thought that the environment of first manifestation played a tremendous role in mutant identity.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 10, 2007, 11:05am
"Well, that was the moment when I actually was rather scared." she remembered. "I only found out later that my powers are to some extent related to my emotions. Normally they are easily controlled, but when I´m scared or under stress it´s a little harder. I didn´t know how they worked and was terrified because I couldn´t see my body. Only when I calmed down again my powers slipped."
Posted by The Man on Mar 12, 2007, 11:45am
::The Professor nodded in understanding, absorbing the story.:: "And then what happened, if I may ask?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 13, 2007, 5:09am
"I didn´t use my powers again and went straight for the library to get information about mutations. But after some days I became too curious not to try again and after a while I could halfway control it."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 12:43pm
::Xavier understood that fear. It reminded him of the first time he had realized he could control minds. Unfortunately, the drive to use your powers, when they're not destructive, and even when they are, is too great to ignore. It was like expecting yourself to stop breathing. He nodded again.:: "And here you are, now."
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 1:15pm
She nodded and looked across the ground, slightly lost in thought, smiling.
"Yeah. Here I am."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 3:50pm
"Quite the journey," ::Xavier replied, knowing that the journey was far from over.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 3:55pm
She shrugged. "I guess a number of people here have had a longer way. For me it was some days by bus and that was generally it."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:01pm
"Not what I meant," ::The Professor replied. He had just finished reading Siddhartha for the umpteenth time and his mind was focused on spiritual growth and acceptance of oneself.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:05pm
She turned her head to look at him for a moment. "I might have guessed" she simply said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:32pm
"What do you plan to do after you return from the land of wizards and knights?" ::Xavier asked, gesturing towards the book.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:33pm
"Does that mean I can´t stay there?" she asked jokingly.
Then she shrugged. "I don´t really have any plans for today to be honest."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:40pm
"Not forever, no matter how tempting it might be," ::The Professor replied. He remembered the days of youth, being able to live through fantasy.:: "I recommend taking advantage of the good weather while it lasts."
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:42pm
She nodded "Already thought of something like that" she said. "even if it´s just being lazy and reading under some tree. I never liked winter much."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:44pm
"Few people do. But spring is on the rise," ::Xavier said, firmly believing the statement.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:46pm
She let her gaze drift across the grounds thinking about how she and her friends back home would take the weekends off to spend them somewhere away from the buzz of the cities. For a moment the thought saddened her.
"Yeah." she then said. "I don´t need the cold."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:51pm
"Don't let Bobby here that." ::The Professor replied with humor. Then he sensed her sudden sadness.:: "I didn't mean to dredge up memories."
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:52pm
She smiled at that
"Never mind, you didn´t...well not too much anyways. I just had to think of my friends from college."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 4:55pm
"Do you keep in touch with them?" ::The Professor asked, tilting his head to the side.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 4:58pm
She should have expected a question like this. Still she hesitated, deciding the truth would probably be the right answer.
"Not as much as I probably should" she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 5:00pm
"Perhaps you should call them today." ::THe Professor replied gently. Perhaps it was the weather, or the events of the last few weeks, but he wanted everybody to try and build bridges, even more than usual.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 5:02pm
She nodded, looking over to the lake. "You´re right. I really should" she said. Noone of her friends knew where she was. It had been for their protection and for her own.
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 5:04pm
"The phone line is at your disposal."
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 5:06pm
She looked at him, nodding with a not totally convincing smile.
"Thank you. I guess I will ring them up these days."
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 5:09pm
::She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. He was all too familiar with that affliction as of late. He grew serious. He had asked her already, but apparently, he needed to keep it up..:: "What's wrong?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 5:14pm
He had asked her this question before and her heart grew heavy at it. Many things had become easier since she had arrived at the school months ago, while she realized that some of these just meant problems and pains she had run away from. In addition, she had kept most of her reasons to come here, to run from her old life, to herself, opening herself only to few. She felt bad for rejecting his well meant questions all over and grew serious.
"I guess it´s just that at times the things I ran from are catching up with me again." she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 14, 2007, 5:20pm
::It was a serious answer and for that Xavier was grateful. But he still wished it was something less heavy on her shoulders. His past had been catching up with him as well and he didn't wish it on anyone. He gave her an encouraging look.:: "Do you want to talk it out?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 14, 2007, 5:24pm
She knew he was serious with his offer. At the same time she could see that there were many things burdening him as well and she did not want to add to this. Not many knew and on the other hand, having been that kind with her all the while, he somehow deserved to know.
She sighed.
Then she decided on a moderate version.
"I came here shortly after my little brother died." she said, playing with the long ends of her pullover. "It´s hard to keep that off my mind at times."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 1:40am
::The Professor became silent. He could imagine how difficult it was to carry the weight of a loved one on one's shoulders. And he felt remiss in not having asked about this sooner.:: "I'm so sorry."
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 4:57am
She nodded, her eyes fixed on the ground. In this moment she found that she already had cried all her tears. All she could now feel about his death was bitterness and hatred against those responsible for it.
"Thank you." she said. "You couldn´t have known."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 5:10pm
::That simply wasn't true. The fact was that he could have known, if he had read her. Or if he taken the time to speak with her at length about her past. He felt a pang of guilt over that, since he hadn't paid her enough attention.:: "If you ever need to talk, you know my door is always open."
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 5:14pm
She nodded again and turned her head to look at him.
"I know" she said. "And I´m greatful for that."
At her words her heart felt heavy. She had never really opened up to him, nor had she told him much about her past. there wasn´t much to tell as, apart from Jimmy´s death, her life had been unproblematic, yet she felt guilty for not even giving him the chance to know.
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 5:27pm
"And if I can do anything, don't hesitate to let me know," ::The Professor continued. He wanted to help her.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 5:33pm
In this moment she remembered something, Erik had said to her on the very first morning after she had come to the mansion. Something had triggered her into telling about what had happened...One mention of retribution and Charles'll turn his office inside out with a blink
She doubted that the professor would react that harshly, but still, these kinds of thoughts did not seem anywhere near him. Truth be told, she didn´t even know what she wanted. Whether she would pay those murderers back if she had the chance... she had thought she did and she was sure meeting them again would make her blind with anger... she pushed the thought aside.
"There´s nothing you can do really." she said smiling. "I think at some point I´ll simply have to move on."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 5:41pm
::The Professor felt a momentary shift in her thoughts. Something was troubling the young woman. And although he assumed it had to do with her brother, it went beyond that. But she hadn't said anything on the subject, and he wouldn't pry. Now wasn't the time. He nodded solemnly.:: "Moving on is always wise, although one must never simpyly forget."
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 5:42pm
"Only too true." she said while her hand played along the edges of a book. "I guess I never will. And I wouldn´t want to."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 5:52pm
"No," ::The Professor repeated. It had taken him a long time to learn that he couldn't take people's pain away with their memories. Memories made them who they are, as painful a realization as it could be.:: "You shouldn't want to."
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 5:57pm
She still felt a little guilt nag on her for the things she didn´t tell him, but the emotional relief that spread inside her was bigger. She had never been a person to trouble others with her sorrows too much, although she had always felt strong empathy for others. She took a deep and calming breath.
"Thank you." she said from an impulse.
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 5:59pm
"For what?" ::The Professor asked, surprised. Considering all of the trouble he had caused recently, he didn't think he was in a position to be thanked by anyone.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 6:02pm
She looked out on the grounds.
"I don´t really know." she said with a little shrug. "For everything I guess. You always have an open ear for everybody´s trouble."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 6:11pm
"That's why I'm here," ::The Professor replied honestly. He was somewhat relieved that she hadn't thought he had failed her. Particularly since he had doubted himself so often this past week.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 6:13pm
She nodded. "Yeah, but that´s not self-evident, you know? People who think like this are actually very rare."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 6:30pm
"I think they're merely buried by society," ::The Professor replied after a moment's consideration.:: "People are inherently good and helpful."
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 6:41pm
She nodded but could not totally share his belief. It was hard to apply this way of thinking to some.
"Maybe" she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 6:51pm
"There are exceptions, of course. This school wouldn't exist if there weren't. But generally, the glass is half-full." ::Xavier said. He had to keep his optimism. Otherwise, he didn't know what he stood for.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 16, 2007, 6:52pm
She really admired him for this point of view and generally shared it. she had met more humans that were to be labelled good than those that deserved to be called evil.
"it´s just a shame that those few exceptions usually leave graver marks than the hords of good ones."
Posted by The Man on Mar 16, 2007, 6:55pm
"A few rotten apples spoil the bunch, you mean," ::The Professor replied with a nod. Yes, it was a shame that the worst of any group received the most attention. It was the cornerstone of xenophobia and the result of media sensationalism.:: "Unfortunately, the same can be said of us."
Posted by Shade on Mar 17, 2007, 7:24am
Her knowledge on that matter was too small to make a qualified remark on it. Hatred against mutant never had been a real issue back home, although there had been those who had spoken against them at school... and one or two of them who had been about to turn into troublemakers. He was so much older and more experienced than her that most probably he had seen more on that matter than was good for anyone.
Her thoughts briefly drifted over to Erik, to what she had caught about his past. Brief glimpses on the Liberty Island incident, even briefer ones on Alcatraz. He was so different from Xavier, yet she could in a way understand both their views.
She nodded. "It has always been like that, throughout history." she then said. "Our society thinks its so much different from those in the past, but in general it´s just the same old game all over again. It´s the same fear."
Posted by The Man on Mar 19, 2007, 12:00am
"Generally," ::The Professor replied with a nod. It was fear, the us vs. them dynamic, which kept hatred in the minds and hearts of the masses.:: "And that's why we must try not to respond in a threatening way. It only justifies that fear."
Posted by Shade on Mar 19, 2007, 10:30am
He sounded as if he had said these kind of things many times during his life and she sympathized with the hope that shone through, although his words left an etchy corner in her mind. She nodded, but then turned towards them.
"Still, the world would be simpler if it were that easy... if it was black and white. What about the other minorities? The Native Americans? The European Jews? They didn´t behave in a threatening way and still ..."
Posted by The Man on Mar 19, 2007, 4:10pm
"No, they didn't," ::The Professor admitted. The world was unfair so often. And he knew it was difficult for people who had experienced such hardship to have hope. But they must understand that change was slow at times.:: "But that doesn't mean that they should retaliate in kind. Then there will never be an end to the conflicts."
Posted by Shade on Mar 19, 2007, 4:13pm
"No." Shade said, her eyes upon the grounds. "Still it´s sometimes hard to live in a world like this."
Posted by The Man on Mar 19, 2007, 4:14pm
"That it is," ::The Professor replied with a nod. It could be incredibly difficult.:: "But it's up to us to make it easier for the next generation."
Posted by Shade on Mar 19, 2007, 4:17pm
She nodded, her thoughts briefly dwelling on the thought. It was always about the future, about making things better in the one or other way whether it came to stopping the hole in the ozon layer or creating a society of tolerance. Still, it was difficult for her to share that optimism, yet she didn´t want to tell him why. The image of the unpretty death of Jimmy was something she didn´t want to force on anyone.
"Probably" she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 19, 2007, 9:11pm
"And now you know the logic behind the school," ::The Professor said gently. He had dedicated his entire life to this logic.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 20, 2007, 3:22am
She smiled.
"This is admireable" she said. "To find so much hope and dedication."
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 12:37pm
::Xavier smiled at her. It warmed his heart to know that someone in the younger generation could appreciate the value of hope. The future would be in good hands.:: "It's admirable that you open yourself to others. The students are all very fond of you."
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 12:39pm
Shade looked at him, actually feeling touched.
"It´s amazing to see." she said. Images started floating around her mind. Images of the students and how nicely they treated her, about the one or other remark complimenting her classes or advice.
"They give me so much."
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 12:43pm
"They do," ::Xavier said with a nod. There was a rejuvinating force in teaching.:: "You're a natural teacher."
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 12:45pm
"That´s among the nicest things I´ve heard for quite a while" she said blushing slightly.
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 12:48pm
::Xavier smiled at her again.:: "I speak only the truth."
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 12:49pm
His words left a slightly bitter taste, but still she smiled. "Thank you." she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 12:54pm
"You're welcome," ::Xavier replied. Her expression seemed off; he took mental note of it. Glancing down at the book in her lap, he decided to simply ignore it.:: "I do apologize if I've taken away reading time."
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 12:56pm
"Oh, never mind, you didn´t" she said. He still seemed a little concerned as she noticed and wanted him not to be troubled about her. "There are enough moments when one is bored. It´s always nice to have someone to talk."
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 1:05pm
"It is," ::Xavier agreed. It was nice to be able to carry on a conversation with somebody who shared your interests, if not your outlook.:: "If I may ask, what do you have lined up for your next lesson?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 1:09pm
"You mean for history, right?" she made sure.
"I actually thought about going a little further into the history of the development of constitutions and personal rights, primarily centering on the German basic law as this would form a connection with where we last stopped in a way, but reaching back for ideas on personal rights such as those that came up with the French revolution."
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 4:37pm
::Xavier nodded to answer her question; then he listened to her lesson plan. It sounded solid and he only hoped that the students would respond well to it.:: "Do you have a project planned to accompany it?"
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 4:40pm
"I´m not too sure yet." she said. "i was considering about letting them work on the validity of these constitutions in historic and modern retrospective, but I´m not sure if this might not end in another discussion about mutant rights and the like, so I´m still working on that."
Posted by The Man on Mar 21, 2007, 5:22pm
"The greatest challenge you will face as a teacher at the Institute is finding a way for discussion to not deteriorate into a discussion about mutant rights," ::Xavier replied. It was topical, although not always appropriate. Most of the students were runaways; it was the first thing on their minds.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 21, 2007, 5:24pm
She nodded. "i guess so" she said. "i might limit the discussion down to similarities and differences, to general achievements and developments by drawing parallels across nations, maybe" she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 23, 2007, 9:51am
"I think that's wise," ::The Professor agreed with a nod.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 23, 2007, 12:35pm
She nodded again. "Yeah. The whole acceptance thing is an important issue, but it certainly won´t help if it comes up every lesson." She looked out over the grounds. "I think I´ll go, check out the library for some useful stuff." she said.
Posted by The Man on Mar 23, 2007, 12:44pm
"And they will get more than they need of the issue in political science," ::The Professor said in agreement. He was quite familiar with Magnus' teaching style.:: "If you need anything at all, I will most likely be in my office."
Posted by Shade on Mar 23, 2007, 12:49pm
She crooked a grin. "Probably. I signed up for that course as I thought there might be parallels to history and it might prove interesting... well, we´ll see." She took the book and got up. "Good to know" she said. She might need some equipment, not for history but for creative writing, but she hadn´t thought that through completely yet. "See you, professor."
Posted by The Man on Mar 23, 2007, 12:50pm
"Take care, Shade," ::Xavier replied with a soft smile.::
Posted by Shade on Mar 23, 2007, 12:52pm
"Same goes for you." she said smiling as well, but a serious tone in her words when she walked away. He seemed weary these days and this didn´t help the way she felt much.